


A Necessary Conversation

by GriffinHeart



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Conversations, Crying, Er...a not sad ending, F/F, Gen, Survival Horror, Survivor Guilt, happy is a stretch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25407556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GriffinHeart/pseuds/GriffinHeart
Summary: Ellie tells Joel about Riley. Some things need to be said.
Relationships: Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us), Ellie/Riley (The Last of Us)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26
Collections: Multifandom Horror Exchange (2020)





	A Necessary Conversation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sumi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sumi/gifts).



Some days, there was nothing Ellie valued more than a ponytail. This hot summer day was no exception. She lifted her arm to wipe the sweat off her forehead with the sleeve of her t-shirt. The shattered window she was sitting in front of did nothing to provide shade, and the walls of the general store only built up the muggy humidity. She was camped a few hours past Tommy’s, on a supply run with Joel. Heavy bootsteps grew louder behind her, the man in question returning from scouting out the crumbling suburbia. Ellie swiveled in her chair, grinning.

“Welcome back! This is hell!” Her smile didn’t leave her face.

Joel chuckled. “You think this is bad? Summers in Texas are worse. This is practically cool.”

Ellie stuck her tongue out at him. It had been a year since the lab fiasco, and they had carved out a comfortable life in Tommy’s settlement. Going out on supply runs together was almost a routine, now.

“What did you see out there?” she asked, swiveling back and forth in her chair, leaning back to look at the rotting wood ceiling of their temporary shelter.

“Only a few infected. Mostly old houses. But I did see one thing that might be interesting.”

She sat up and scowled, raising her eyebrow when it was clear he wasn’t going to clarify on his own.

He turned and pointed left through the window. “There’s a massive mall with a shit-ton of stuff in it.”

Ellie was glad he wasn’t facing her, since she wasn’t able to control her flinch.

“Well,” he said, “what do you think?” He turned back to face her.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I don’t think we should go.”

“Why not?”

“I just don’t want to go. We don’t need any more supplies. Let’s not take the risk.”

“What teenage girl doesn’t want to go to the mall?” he chuckled, before nudging her with his foot.

“Come on, it’ll only take a few hours. We’ll be back here before sunset.”

“Damnit, Joel,” she snapped, “I don’t want to go. Leave me alone.” She slouched and crossed her arms.

He frowned. “What’s up? It’s just a mall, Ellie.”

She shot up and leaned into his space. “Because I got fucking _bitten_ in one the last time!”

There was a moment of silence. Ellie looked down, deflating. She didn’t want to look at his face. “Just,” she muttered, “go without me.”

She heard the sound of his pack hitting the floor, and looked up. Joel was setting his stuff down, and he crouched down to sit against the wall by the window.

“What are you--?” she began to protest.

“Shh.” He cut her off and patted the ground next to him. “we can just sit here for a while. My old bones need a rest as it is.”

Ellie frowned, and kept standing. “You can just go without me, I don’t need to be—”

“Stop complaining and just sit here for a moment, damn it,” he said, and then blushed.

Ellie moved to sit next to him, the wood of the store walls squishing uncomfortably beneath her back. There was a pause.

“Look,” Joel said, bumping his shoulder against Ellie’s, “I’m not great with all of this feelings talk. Y’know? But if you need someone to talk to, I’m always here.”

Ellie blinked, ignoring the lump rising in her throat. “There’s nothing to talk about,” she said, words choking.

“You know there is, Ellie,” Joel said, unbearably soft. “Come on, it’ll make you feel better.”

Ellie moved her bare arm upwards, and watched as Joel’s eyes tracked the curves of the bite mark. She sighed. “There was this girl, Riley.”

Joel moved his arm to rest over her shoulder.

“She—she was my friend. A Firefly. She had just come back from a mission, and we wanted to go have some fun. We decided to explore the nearby mall.”

She blinked rapidly. “It was so much fun. We—we got to see so many cool things. We even found a working music player. She was a beautiful dancer.”

Ellie trailed off, staring at her clasped hands. She felt a pit growing in her stomach. She didn’t know how to tell Joel. She didn’t even know what she was telling him.

He moved his hand along her arm, jostling her back to the present. His gaze was patient, but his eyebrows were raised.

She continued.

“And…and I kissed her, that day. While we were dancing.” She mumbled, speaking quickly, and staring at a fleck of dirt on her right hand. She didn’t look at Joel.

Joel coughed, a short, awkward noise. “And then what happened?” He said, softly.

“And—and then—” she stuttered, “and then there were infected. Everywhere.”

Ellie felt her breathing pick up. “We just had to keep running. We couldn’t stop. We knew what would happen if we stopped. We ran and ran and ran—”

Ellie stopped and took a quick, wheezing breath. Joel was rubbing small circles on her back, whispering, “Shh, it’s okay, take it slow. Just breathe Ellie.”

Her face crumbled. “And we both got bit!” she wailed, tears running down her face, mucus dripping from her nose.

She was leaning into his side, breaths coming and going in erratic bursts. He was whispering a soothing nonsense into her ear.

“And—and—we were gonna wait it out together. She said it was poetic, going mad together. But, but—”

She took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Overnight she just got worse and worse. And I wasn’t changing at all. Her skin was so pale. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t recognize me, she was seizing and—”

She leaned into Joel’s shirt, squeezing her eyes shut. “And I shot her.” she whispered, horrified. She couldn’t stop hearing the clicking. Riley’s skin had faded, her veins growing dark as lesions spread throughout her face. In her final moments she was seizing, screeching until her vocal cords wore out, twitching in time with high-pitched clicks growing from the back of her throat. Then, her chest stopped rising.

And she lunged.

Joel’s hand on her head drew Ellie back to the present. Her cries became unintelligible, wreaking sobs throughout her body. Joel had wrapped his arms around her, running his hand through her hair and whispering softly. “It wasn’t your fault, baby girl.”

“My arm burned so much. It never stopped itching. It was ugly, and we were in agony, and all I could do was _watch_.”

“You did the right thing, sweetheart. It’s okay. Breathe with me.”

She took an erratic breath in time with the rise and fall of his chest. It was five hours, or five minutes, before Ellie felt in control again. She grimaced at the mess her crying made of her face. And of Joel’s shirt.

Joel chuckled as he looked at Ellie’s grimace. “It’s fine, Ellie. Let’s get cleaned up and we can head back to the compound early today.”

“But—the supplies?” She leaned back and wiped at her face with her arm.

“You already said we got enough of them for now. We’re fine.”

Ellie stood and grimaced again. The combination of hot weather and sobbing had her shirt sticking to her back with a significant layer of sweat. She imagined Joel’s was the same way.

“Sorry for all that.” she mumbled, grabbing her pack and staring at the wooden floor.

“There’s nothing to apologize for. Now come on, let’s head back.” He slung his pack over his shoulder and ruffled her hair.

As they passed through the door and back into the unrelenting summer sun, he said, “Oh and, before I forget, I want you to know that I…” he trailed off, rubbing at the back of his head, “that I don’t care who you’re attracted to.”

Ellie felt her face heat up, but made an affirmative noise.

“I mean, I don’t care at all. I mean like, I do care about you, but not about that.” He fumbled and sighed, dragging his hand across his face. “Pretend I said something caring and meaningful.”

He paused and continued. “I know that today, with the world as it is, everything seems more complicated. There are a lot of resources out there for all kinds of folk, y’know? The library in Jackson’s gotta have something.”

She smiled, and leaned into Joel’s shoulder. “Thanks, Joel.”

He grunted, before awkwardly clearing his throat. “Just know that I’m always here for you. That’s all.”

“I know,” she said, smiling. They walked back to the settlement, leaning into each other. Joel began to hum a familiar, comforting tune. It was peaceful.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! I'm worried that I went too light on the horror...I got wrapped up in conversation feels. My bad.


End file.
